Sunday, March 28, 2010

DangerBoobs

A while back, I took a photo of my boobs. No – I’m not an aspiring porn star – I was riled up over the idea that breastfeeding is obscene when it’s perfectly acceptable that they are shoved in our faces to sell everything from beer to cologne and decided to blog about it. Anyway, I long since stopped thinking about the photo.

Until about a month ago when my husband was using my computer and told me he needed to ask me something. He said it in that tone. You know the one - the “we need to talk” tone. My heart was in my throat until he asked, “Why do you have a photo of your breasts on your computer?”

Oops.

See, he knows I blog. He didn’t for a long time, but eventually (when I started meeting up with other bloggers in real life) I had to come clean. But while he knows I blog, he doesn’t know any more than that. He doesn’t know where I blog, or what I blog about. He has never read my blog (as far as I know – if I’m wrong..Um…Hi Honey! Love you!) or even asked to. He’s not a computer-type guy. He doesn’t know anything about blogging or facebook or twitter. It’s just not his thing. I think he believes that computers are run by tiny elves or fairies or something. Either that or it’s learned helplessness since I am always here to do computer-y things. Probably both. It’s sad, really.

Anyway, I explained why I took the photo (actually I told him that I took the photo for a breast cancer thing – which is true – but then I used it on my blog. I left that part out since – as I said –he just doesn’t get blogging). Anyway, he knows me and after I explained it, he was fine.

Since mr b was screwed over laid off in August, he has been working for himself as a carpenter/woodworker. I’ve been taking photos of different projects he has been doing. Since I take a lot of photos in general, I tend to load them onto the computer and delete the memory card pretty frequently. And for some strange reason, the boob photo never deletes. Three-hundred other photos will go away just fine, but not the boob photo. Apparently my boobs are magical.

I noticed this phenomenon one day when I took my memory card to a photo printing machine in Giant Eagle and treated several other shoppers to a virtual peep show. But since I am old and forgetful, I immediately forgot about it. Or maybe it was because I went home and drank. One of those.

Fast forward to yesterday.

Mr b wanted to get prints of some of the photos to show to a client. But since printer ink is made of unicorn blood and costs seventeen trillion dollars and ounce, we only have black right now. So he needed to go somewhere to have them printed (he didn’t know I had already cleared the card). And being a non-computer person (or more likely – “helpless” person who didn’t want to put any thought in to how to use the self service machines), he headed to K1nkos.

You see where this is going, don’t you?

When he got to K1nkos, he got an employee to help him. Some young K1nkos employee got him to a machine and inserted the card. And the only photo that popped up on the screen? You got it. MY BOOBS! I’m sure the kid was scarred for life. Not only are my boobs magical, they’re dangerous!

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11 comments:

Mrs. Chili said...

Whoops!

My husband has a deep and abiding mistrust of this whole blogging thing. I'm pretty sure that putting a picture of my boobs on my blog would be the end of my whole blogging experiment, regardless of the context; I just don't think he could take it.

bluzdude said...

The Dangerous, Undeletable Magic Boobs... sounds like the next 3-D adventure from Pixar.

spoon said...

if that movie is made I'm suggesting IMAX

Kim said...

Woo hoo! Nice boobs!

meno said...

See, your tits have a point! Two actually.

Michelle said...

Can't. Stop. Laughing. Ohhhh your poor husband. Hey, at least you know he'll REALLY stay away from the computer now, right? ;)

Bethtastic said...

AAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

That. Is. Awesome.

Burgh Baby said...

If I remember correctly, you're boobs are totally worth seeing over and over and over again. And they know it.

Alice said...

heeeee. whoopsie!

i did something similar (uh.. ish?) with my last post - i knew my bf SOMETIMES read my blog, but i guess he decided to catch up on it riiiight after i posted about that creepy guy at our studio. i was planning to tell him the whole story that night, but instead he got to read about it on my blog first. i got QUITE the alarmed text message :-)

Saint Dolores said...

You are a great storyteller. I'd be kind of flattered that my man could tell right away they were MY boobs. Means he's paying attention.

Elisa @ Globetrotting in Heels said...

ahhahahaha! Everything passes... except the photo of your boobs. That will stay forever and ever. And ever ever ;-)