Friday, November 12, 2010

RSVfreakingP!

When did RSVP-ing become optional? I mean – I didn’t know that it did, so someone needs to educate me. Here I am, still calling and letting people know I will (or won’t) be in attendance and I had NO IDEA that I am so out of touch! But clearly – based on approximately ten years of throwing kids’ parties – either a) RSVP is totally optional, or b) people are TOTAL FUCKERS.

Go ahead and guess which one I am going with.

Every year I go through this. I invite a bunch of kids to a party. I practically beg people to PLEASE RSVP (seriously, I actually put the word “please” on the invitation in a larger font, bold, underlined, you name it), I give multiple contact options – phone, text, email, and then I wait. And people prove to me that they are – as I said – total fuckers.

And since I never know how many are coming, I have to plan for the maximum number of kids. Which means more food, more cake, more treat bags, and MORE GODDAMNED MONEY!!

And then people don’t show up and I am left with too much cake, too much food, too many treat bags and an empty wallet. Oh – and a delightfully bitter, spiteful, judgmental attitude that I have a hard time keeping in check.

So educate me – when did RSVP stop meaning Répondez S'il Vous Plaît and become RIYFLIOBIOSICSABOMBIHTPFTMNOPSIDKFSBDWAMALAYHBTATMYSF (Respond If You Feel Like It Otherwise Blow It Off So I Can Spend A Buttload Of Money Because I Have To Be Prepared For The Maximum Number Of People Since I Don't Know For Sure But Don't Worry About Me As Long As You’re Happy Because That’s All That Matters You Stupid Fuck)?

People? Total fuckers.

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6 comments:

spoon said...

I always RSVP. If you leave the option for maybe dont hound me to make a choice, its maybe. if you didn't want that option I would have gladly selected yes or no. Either way you're right, at least give a heads up. If I say no you'll never see me change it. If I say maybe its because I honestly dont know. If i say yes its usually a solid yes

Magpie said...

I am so with you. At the beginning of the week, I sent out individual emails to people who had failed to RSVP for my kid's party this coming Sunday. Because, hello? Argh.

On the other hand, I just got a similar email from one of her friend's mother's asking why we hadn't responded to her kid's party invite - and I got to write back and say, truthfully, that we'd never gotten the invite. So, that is a possibility. Sometimes. Mostly, people are boorish fuckers.

Mrs. Chili said...

This has always frustrated the shit out of me. You're SO not alone in this...

meno said...

I actually think i love you.

People are TOTAL FUCKERS!

Michelle said...

My... I just wrote much the same post. My best advice (aside from bouncers to turn away anyone who didn't RSVP and plan only for those who did) was the person who advised skipping the RSVP and simply stating: I need to you tell me if you can come or not. 38% of those we invited didn't RSVP. I called every one of them. 2 still didn't respond. 5 of the 13 were planning to come. *sigh*

Mia said...

I have actually started writing "Please let me know if you are OR are not coming" on the invitations for that reason. People still do not RSVP. I just figured it was the fact that I must be way older than the rest of the moms and am totally uncool.