Hedge: I just read a news story about some jackass parolees that poured cologne on their passed out friends’ crotch and set him on fire. He got third degree crotch burns. This is why I don't drink and pass out with parolees.
Gina: I have a photo of my friend Dave passed out with his crotch on fire. We used carpet foam, though, so it just sat on top and burned off long enough to get a good pic…
Hedge: Hence the reason you aren't a parolee. You know how to pull off a proper crotch burn.
Gina: Well, I didn’t go to college for nothing. I passed with flying colors the following classes:
Appropriate places to puke
Proper crotch burning 101: How to take hilarious photos of your friends and not kill anyone
Tequila: finding your limits
How to make a pipe/bong out of anything: fruit division
How to make a pipe/bong out of anything: school supplies division
How to make a pipe/bong out of anything: kitchenware division
How to make a pipe/bong out of anything: medical devices division
What to tell your mother when she asks where you were
Casual Sex: a primer
Hedge: I got a 4.0 in being the only girl among my friends that could beer bong 3 beers without as much as a slight gag. All while on my knees wearing a half shirt and mini skirt.
Gina: Niiiice!
Hedge: I wish I could find the pics of that. Just to see myself in a half shirt and mini skirt. You know, I could probably still pull of the beer bong. I was already an expert on the "open throat" concept. That I learned in Fellatio 101.
Don’t forget about my contest. I’ll announce the winner some time on Friday and post the answers.
8 comments:
The homework for that tequila limits class just HAD to be awful. It's such a tenuous line between happy and disaster when you walk with tequila.
hey, we had almost the same curriculum in college! i never did the crotch burning tho.
ah, I'm tearing up.....
You forgot the "How to make a pipe/bong out of anything: toilet paper/paper towel/wrapping paper roll division."
Don't worry, i'll show you sometime. :)
BBM: yes - it was hard work, but I persevered.
Amy: Your friends are probably happy about that!
hedge: I know, me too.
meno: Don't worry - that was the prerequisite for the other courses - along with the aluminum foil division.
HAHAHA that was just amazing. Crotch burning? Awesome.
You've now inspired me to go burn a crotch just for the photographic kicks.
I'm a loser and can't find your email address. Can you hook me up?
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