I swear, this was supposed to be short.

My week so far:

Sunday: as I previously reported, I had a particularly busy day planned. I got up, baked a football shaped cake and let the kids decorate it. Then the girl and I got ready and headed off to the Byham to see High School Musical. She loved it, of course, though being five, she didn’t quite get that it wasn’t going to be the real Troy (and Gabriella, and Sharpay, etc, but really, it was all about Troy). Her pronouncement was that Troy was cute, but not as cute as the real Troy (I actually thought he was cuter, that girly boy Efron is not my type), Gabriella was pretty, but not as pretty as the real Gabriella, Sharpay was pretty, but, blah blah blah, etc). She thought Ryan was hilarious, though. And she was quite pleased to see that no one else had the good sense to dress in their HSM cheerleader costume (she loves the spotlight, that one).

The play was pretty good, though not as good as the movie, and we liked it. For our added enjoyment, they slipped in quite a few Steelers and Superbowl references, and the cast came out for their curtain calls wearing Steelers jerseys, so needless to say, the crowd went wild. Throw in the Gummi Bears and the fact that our subscription seats are pretty awesome, it was an all-around nice time.

Then, we walked to Palomino, where I met my parents. My dad took the girl and left my mom. We had a nice dinner and headed to the Benedum to see Jersey Boys. I have to say, I bought the tickets for my mom for Christmas because Frankie Valli is her thing. I mean, that place looked like the Class of ‘65 reunion. And though I knew I would enjoy it, I didn’t expect it to be as absolutely fantastic as it was. And that is coming from someone who had a transistor radio and an earbud in for the entire show. I’m all class. I was in line for the restroom during intermission and was lamenting Arizona’s impending score with the ladies in line (it was just before the half) and when James Harrison became magical, I was a screaming, jumping, cheering, crying ball of insanity, right there in the Benedum hallway. Luckily, most everyone there – like me – had bought their tickets without realizing that it would be Superbowl Sunday, so I suddenly was everyone’s best friend. People tagged along behind me and signaled me during the show to give them a thumbs up or down to let them know who was winning.

When we left the theater, it was 20-7, so most of the nail-biting happened on the way home. The game was officially won just as I pulled into the driveway, so I didn’t actually see any of it happen in real time, but it was worth it. I’m telling you – if you ever have a chance to see Jersey Boys (especially if you are as old as me and can remember some of this music), take it. It was well worth the money. It was funny, fast-paced, interesting, and the music was – at times – goose-bumpingly great. And they said “fuck” a lot, which made me feel right at home.



Monday: this day sucked balls. Work was insane – I worked about 11 hours and didn’t stop all day. Also – I had a medical test the next day which meant I couldn’t have caffeine all day. SUCK!!

Also – I could not care less about Michael Phelps and his bong. I mean, I think he was stupid – not so much for smoking pot, but for smoking pot when he has big endorsement opportunities. I feel the same way every time I hear about some professional athlete doing something stupid (I’m looking at you, Mr. Superbowl MVP). I mean, smoke it if you got it. but if you are a person with amazing opportunities and you do something to jeopardize your opportunities, I have a hard time not thinking you are a dumbass.

And yet, on the other hand I feel kind of bad for him. He’s a kid that has spent years working hard and training and doing little else and he was letting loose. BFD. (and obviously I have a pretty lax attitude about “the dope,” as my mother would call it). but beyond how I feel about him, I have to say, I am more irritated with a) The Richland County Sheriff and b) the media. And here’s why:

a) The Richland County Sheriff: Are you fucking kidding me? I mean, really? If you had caught the kid red-handed, of course – don’t give him special treatment (and this is setting aside my personal feelings about marijuana and the law), but based on a photo of him allegedly smoking alleged marijuana? I’m sorry, but this smacks of I Want Some Media Attention. Please.
b) The media: If you are truly as worried as you say you are about impressionable children seeing this photo and being damaged because of it? Then STOP FUCKING SHOWING IT SEVENTEEN THOUSAND TIMES AN HOUR!!!!!

Anyway.



Tuesday: I had to have a stress test. That’s right – cardiac stress test. I have been having some weird chest pains that my doctor believes is not cardiac-related, but I needed to be sure. I haven’t heard anything yet on the scans, but the treadmill part was fine, as far as no pain or arrhythmia (even though I felt like my calves were going to explode from walking approximately 60 MPH up an incline not unlike the Grand Canyon). I feel less nervous about it since they didn’t immediately throw me on a gurney screaming “clear!” and admit me, but I’ll feel better when my doctor calls and says I’m fine.

Also – the nuclear waste that they injected into me gave me a raging headache, so awesome. Also, when I was sitting in the waiting room, I was reading a magazine article about how to tell if your child is using meth and I read the signs:

Incessant talking
Increased energy
Low appetite
Blaming others
Sleep disturbances

And I thought, OH MY GOD, MY FIVE YEAR OLD IS ON METH!!!!!!!!!!!


Today: My finger hurts.