Monday, January 10, 2011

Movie Night at My House

We watched several movies yesterday. Each one made me more convinced that I should never watch movies with my family. Why, you ask? Let me give you a tiny glimpse into the day:

Me: Intently watching movie(s)

The Boy: Who is that?

The Girl: You’d know if you were paying attention.

Me: Shhh

The Boy: Why is he doing that?

Me: Shhh

The Girl: SHHHHHHHH

The Boy: Sor-RY!

The Dog with a squeaky toy: Squeak!

Me: Oh my God.

The Boy: Why is that black?

The Girl: Shhh

The Boy: What happened?

Me: Pay attention and you’d know!

The Boy: Who is she?

The Dog with a squeaky toy: Squeak! Squeak! Squeak!

The Boy: Can’t they change it back?

Me: sigh

The Boy: What happened to that last guy?

The Girl: lalalalalalala!

The Boy: Is he still alive?

Me: Shush

The Boy: What’s that one spell? You know, that spell?

The Girl: Brother – Shush!

The Boy: You shush!

The Boy: Watch this!

Me: Both of you shush!

The Boy: Wait, who is that?

The Girl: baby, baby, baby…oohhh…baby

The Dog with a squeaky toy: Squeak! Squeak! SqueakSqueakSqueakSqueak!

The Boy: Is that her boyfriend?

The Girl: He can be my boyfriend.

The Boy: What’s a Tesla Coil?

The Girl: Team Jacob! Woooo!

The Boy: What happened?

Me: SIGH

The Boy: Can’t they just change it back?

The Girl: I love my scooter!

The Boy: Where did it go?

Me: Pay attention. And youstop riding that scooter!

The Dog with a squeaky toy: SqueakSqueakSqueakSqueakSqueak!

The Dog without a squeaky toy: Grrrrrrrr

The Boy: What’s intuition?

The Girl: scoot…scoot…crash

The Boy: Is he in college?

Me: I’m begging you…

The Boy: Can you use Sprite in a Shirley Temple?

The Girl: I want a Shirley Temple! Can you make me a Shirley Temple?

Me: Not right now. I’m trying to watch the movie!

The Boy: What’s Dumbledore’s first name?

The Girl: Albus. DUH!

The Boy: nyahnyahnyah

The Girl: STOP IT!

Me: BOTH OF YOU stop it!

The Boy: What’s he going to do?

Me: JUST WATCH!

The Boy: Is that thing dead?

The Dog with a squeaky toy: SqueakSqueakSqueakSqueakSqueak!

The Dog without a squeaky toy: GRRRR

The Dog previously with a squeaky toy: GRRRR

The Dog who never had a squeaky toy: GRRRR

Both Dogs: BARK BARK BARK BARK BARKBARKBARK

The Boy: That’s a cool car. What kind of car is that?

Me: Oh. My. GOD! PLEASE!?!?!?

The Boy: What’s with those birds?

Both Dogs: BARK BARK BARK BARK BARKBARKBARKWRESTLEGROWLBARK…CRASH!

Me: I will KILL A DOG!

The Girl: Shhhh…I can’t hear!

Me: sigh

The Boy: Why is it blue? Isn’t it supposed to be green?

Me: Please! Stop! Talking!

The Girl: Listen – HEHEHEHEHEHEHE. Do I Sound like a mental patient?

The Boy: What happened? What’s he going to do?

Me: Would you all please STOP???

Mr. B: What’s a horcrux?

Me: SOB! I am never watching movies with you people again.

The Boy, The Girl, Mr B: Sor-RY!

The Dogs: Grrr…fart.

Me: SIGH

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6 comments:

Burgh Baby said...

I died at "He can be MY boyfriend."

ACK!

Janet said...

omg sounds like my place Saturday night...LMAO!

Bethtastic said...

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

*smile* *sigh* *smile*

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

bluzdude said...

That's totally my house, but only when it's something I really need to concentrate on. And I don't even have kids... it's just Pinky, and it's a steady diet of "He's a Swede. You can tell by the jawline. I knew a Swede once and he had eyes like that. Or maybe he was Norwegian..."

(Continue until my head explodes like a Martian listening to Slim Whitman.)

chasingalittlelion said...

Just laughed out loud at work. And I don't care who stared. Thank you :).

albamaria30 said...

Minus the dogs, that's a lot how watching a movie with my children -- and sometimes my husband -- sounds at my house. If Flora's attention span was any shorter, she'd forget *my* name.