We watched several movies yesterday. Each one made me more convinced that I should never watch movies with my family. Why, you ask? Let me give you a tiny glimpse into the day:
Me: Intently watching movie(s)
The Boy: Who is that?
The Girl: You’d know if you were paying attention.
Me: Shhh
The Boy: Why is he doing that?
Me: Shhh
The Girl: SHHHHHHHH
The Boy: Sor-RY!
The Dog with a squeaky toy: Squeak!
Me: Oh my God.
The Boy: Why is that black?
The Girl: Shhh
The Boy: What happened?
Me: Pay attention and you’d know!
The Boy: Who is she?
The Dog with a squeaky toy: Squeak! Squeak! Squeak!
The Boy: Can’t they change it back?
Me: sigh
The Boy: What happened to that last guy?
The Girl: lalalalalalala!
The Boy: Is he still alive?
Me: Shush
The Boy: What’s that one spell? You know, that spell?
The Girl: Brother – Shush!
The Boy: You shush!
The Boy: Watch this!
Me: Both of you shush!
The Boy: Wait, who is that?
The Girl: baby, baby, baby…oohhh…baby
The Dog with a squeaky toy: Squeak! Squeak! SqueakSqueakSqueakSqueak!
The Boy: Is that her boyfriend?
The Girl: He can be my boyfriend.
The Boy: What’s a Tesla Coil?
The Girl: Team Jacob! Woooo!
The Boy: What happened?
Me: SIGH
The Boy: Can’t they just change it back?
The Girl: I love my scooter!
The Boy: Where did it go?
Me: Pay attention. And youstop riding that scooter!
The Dog with a squeaky toy: SqueakSqueakSqueakSqueakSqueak!
The Dog without a squeaky toy: Grrrrrrrr
The Boy: What’s intuition?
The Girl: scoot…scoot…crash
The Boy: Is he in college?
Me: I’m begging you…
The Boy: Can you use Sprite in a Shirley Temple?
The Girl: I want a Shirley Temple! Can you make me a Shirley Temple?
Me: Not right now. I’m trying to watch the movie!
The Boy: What’s Dumbledore’s first name?
The Girl: Albus. DUH!
The Boy: nyahnyahnyah
The Girl: STOP IT!
Me: BOTH OF YOU stop it!
The Boy: What’s he going to do?
Me: JUST WATCH!
The Boy: Is that thing dead?
The Dog with a squeaky toy: SqueakSqueakSqueakSqueakSqueak!
The Dog without a squeaky toy: GRRRR
The Dog previously with a squeaky toy: GRRRR
The Dog who never had a squeaky toy: GRRRR
Both Dogs: BARK BARK BARK BARK BARKBARKBARK
The Boy: That’s a cool car. What kind of car is that?
Me: Oh. My. GOD! PLEASE!?!?!?
The Boy: What’s with those birds?
Both Dogs: BARK BARK BARK BARK BARKBARKBARKWRESTLEGROWLBARK…CRASH!
Me: I will KILL A DOG!
The Girl: Shhhh…I can’t hear!
Me: sigh
The Boy: Why is it blue? Isn’t it supposed to be green?
Me: Please! Stop! Talking!
The Girl: Listen – HEHEHEHEHEHEHE. Do I Sound like a mental patient?
The Boy: What happened? What’s he going to do?
Me: Would you all please STOP???
Mr. B: What’s a horcrux?
Me: SOB! I am never watching movies with you people again.
The Boy, The Girl, Mr B: Sor-RY!
The Dogs: Grrr…fart.
Me: SIGH
6 comments:
I died at "He can be MY boyfriend."
ACK!
omg sounds like my place Saturday night...LMAO!
HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
*smile* *sigh* *smile*
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
That's totally my house, but only when it's something I really need to concentrate on. And I don't even have kids... it's just Pinky, and it's a steady diet of "He's a Swede. You can tell by the jawline. I knew a Swede once and he had eyes like that. Or maybe he was Norwegian..."
(Continue until my head explodes like a Martian listening to Slim Whitman.)
Just laughed out loud at work. And I don't care who stared. Thank you :).
Minus the dogs, that's a lot how watching a movie with my children -- and sometimes my husband -- sounds at my house. If Flora's attention span was any shorter, she'd forget *my* name.
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