Trying Again - Pay it Forward

OK, so a while back, I tried to do a Pay it Forward contest. It was shortly after I moved from diaryland to here, and my already small readership was a bit off-kilter. And the response was decidedly underwhelming. As in – not a single taker. Perhaps part of the problem was that it was a handmade contest – all prizes had to be something you made yourself. And while I got a great bag from Magpie, I got no response whatsoever (and I promised to send a “Pay it Back” gift which I swear I am still planning on doing, but I suck very much and am slow in the creative, make it yourself department).

So anyway, Swistle coordinated another PIF contest and I clicked and read and then pretended like my phone was ringing and someone was at the door and lalalalalala I can’t hear you or anything about your contests. But I can’t help it – it’s fun. So late to the party, I am having another PIF contest. This time, the prizes don’t’ have to be handmade, because that adds a little to much work and responsibility to the mix and a quick look around my house will tell you how I feel about those things. This time around, I’m following Swistle’s lead and going with a random mystery prize. It may be one thing, it may be a bunch of things. It won’t be expensive. It will most likely be silly and quirky. It will reflect me and if possible, you (if I can figure you out based on what you write).

It would be awesome if the winner would do a little PIF themselves, but I am not even requiring it, because fuck it – I just want to have some fun here.

And in the name of fun, I am using a little true/false quiz to determine the winner. Leave your answers in the comments and the person with the best score will win. I the event that there is a tie, I will do the random thing. And who knows – if I get a good response (hahahahaha – I crack myself up) I may go all crazypants and have more than one winner. Because I just roll like that.

I’ll keep it open until Friday.

Notice: Hedge – as you live in my head, you are not eligible.



1. I competed on a men’s sports team.

2. I attended three different colleges before graduating.

3. I speak fluent French.

4. I had a job showing photographs to pigeons.

5. I've never gotten a speeding ticket.

6. I have a photo on my desk of me and Barry Manilow.

7. I once got a fishing hook through my nipple and had to have it cut out.

8. I did psychedelics as part of an experiment.

9. I made out with Eddie Money.

10. I won an ice cream eating contest.

11. I was second in my graduating class.

12. I got a leech on me while on acid and lost my shit.

13. I once got bitten by a big-ass monkey.

14. I started talking at 6 months.

15. I once shaved my head.

16. There are photos of me in a medical journal.

17. I have a tattoo of Mickey Mouse.

18. I had to be escorted to my car after being racially harassed in a bar.

19. My diving career ended when my friend threw me in a pile of broken glass.

20. I was mugged by a gang of teenagers.

21. With 6 months to go, mr b and I decided to scrap the wedding plans and get married in Vegas.

22. I failed high school trigonometry.

23. I once got a bowling ball stuck on my thumb for three hours.

24. I once told a priest to suck it.

25. I have traveled across the country to see the Grateful Dead.

26. I have visible needle marks on my arms.

27. I had a mullet.

28. My middle name is Michael.

29. I was suspended from school several times.

30. I was once run over by a chariot.

31. I have a platinum record.

32. I am really good at canoeing.

33. I shot a man in Reno just to watch him die.