Friday? Five

Yeah, yeah, it's Sunday, not Friday. But I had lots of things to do, like eat leftovers and decorate and drink heavily, so I'm a little late. Sue me.

Friday Five: Over


1. What’s a profession you believe to be overpaid?

Without a doubt, professional athletes. Don’t get me wrong – I like sports. I watch sports. I go to sporting events. But holy hell am I sick to death of the whole damned lot (minus a few) of rich fucking crybabies. These men (yeah, sexist, I know, but let’s face it, it’s men making the big buck), well actually, boys in most cases are doing what millions of other boys would give their left nut to do and getting highly paid to do it. And the fuckers are beating up (or killing) their women, driving drunk, taking drugs, cheating on their wives, shooting their dumbass selves, getting in fights in bars, and just being generally despicable. And a good many of them can no more use even passable grammar than they can perform surgery.

I know it makes me sound old (which I am), but it’s hard to compare these guys with the athletes of the 60s and 70s who were in the sport for the love of the game, who had to educate themselves so they could be something after retirement other than a retired overpaid athlete. The ones who are actual surgeons. And motivational speakers and business owners and community leaders and state delegates and engineers and real estate developers and stockbrokers and authors and investment bankers .



2. Who’s a musician you believe to be overrated?

This is a hard one, because at first, ten jillion names come to mind, but I realized that in most cases, it’s probably not that they are overrated, but that I just don’t appreciate their musical styles. So I had to narrow it down to those whose style of music I like, but just not them. Even doing that is hard – I have never cared for the Stones or Springsteen, but I don’t know if I can really say they are overrated, because I can appreciate their contributions to the musical world. And really, I think I just don’t care for them. Maybe Lucinda Williams – mr b loves her and I like some of her stuff, but after a while, it all sounds like the same bitching and moaning to me. Like she wants to be Neil Young but can’t quite pull it off.



3. What in your life could stand to be overhauled?

I couldn’t even begin to narrow it down. My house, my schedule, my weight, my closets, my physical fitness, my relationship with my husband, my wardrobe, my patience level. You name it, I need help with it.



What’s something interesting you recently overheard?

Cellphone conversation heard in line at w@l-mart: “I’m sick of your shit. You ain’t no kind of baby-daddy. You ain’t brought me no money like you said, but you damn sure got money to give that whore Sheila. Fuck you. This baby is five months old and you seen him three times. And now I gotta buy more fucking diapers. I don’t even have no money for no fucking weed. Fuck You! Yeah, I heard that before. Fuck you. Well, maybe this baby ain’t actually had to educate themselves ain’t even yours, asshole!”



5. Who is the most overextended person you know?

Do we mean time-wise? My friend Hedge. I lament being overextended, but then I realize that she is doing the same thing with the full-time job and the kids and the activities and the husband (sorry hedge – I mean “youth-ruiner”) and the house and the dog and so on, except that she’s doing it with one more kid than I have. Plus, one is a teenaged girl and another has a chronic illness.