Friday, June 19, 2009

Conversations with the Kids

Me: That’s a pain in the ass.

The Girl: You shouldn’t say that.

Random relative: Yeah, you should say pain in the butt.

The Girl: No – you should have said that balls thing.

Me: That’s a pain in the balls?

The Girl: Yeah, but that other word…Ssss…Scr….Scr…

Me: Scrotum?

The Girl: Yeah! You should have said, ‘That’s a pain in the scrotum!’

Random relative: Oh my God.


The Girl: There’s something I want to say.

Me: What?

The Girl: I can’t say it.

Me: What??

The Girl: Can I just say it once?

Me What??

The Girl: Asshat! Asshat, Asshat, Asshat!

Me: Are you done?

The Girl. Yeah.


The Girl: Those old men were looking at me! (talking about 2 old men sitting on a porch as we drove by)

Me: Oh yeah?

The Girl: Yep. And I heard one of them say…um…‘That little girl looks so cute.’

The Boy: What?

The Girl. OK, I totally made that up. But they were looking at me.


And one from The Boy:

The Boy (In Berkeley Springs, West Virginia): I smell the sea!

Me: Dude – we’re almost 300 miles from the sea, you don’t smell the sea.

The Boy: Yes I do! I smell the sea salt.

Me: No.

The Boy (In Winchester, Virginia): I smell the sea!

My Dad: No you don’t – we’re still 200 miles from the sea.

The Boy: Yes I do!

My Dad: No.

The Boy (In Fredericksburg, Virginia): I smell the sea!

Me: OMG – 100 miles from the sea! You do NOT smell the sea!

The Boy: Yes I do!

Me and My Dad: No – you don’t.

The Boy: Yes I do! I smell it. I know what the sea smells like and that is the smell of the sea.

Me and My Dad: No.

The Boy (coming out of the Hampton Roads Bridge Tunnel): What’s that smell?

Me and My Dad: THE SEA!!!!!!!!!


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Karen said...

While they can be a real pain in the scrotum, kids are the best, arent' they?

Logical Libby said...

I love how kids respond to swearing. The other day my Mother told me I shouldn't use the f word so much. My nephew piped up and said "Which one? Fuck or Fucktard?"

I taught him both.

Anonymous said...

Man. I needed that. Thanks for the laugh.


Gwen said...

HA! Your kids are funny.

Nap Warden said...

PITS...I love it!

Amy said...

That's HI-larious! Love the girl!

I live in the Va Bch area - so I'll be the official greeter. WELCOME! And yeah - what the hell IS that smell? I agree with the boy.

meno said...

My brother used to fart in the cat and then claim it was the sea. I was sort of expecting that kind of end to the last conversation.

Mrs. Chili said...


Princess Consuela Bananahammock said...

I can relate to your girl in regards to being overwhelmed by the desire to scream, "ASSHAT!" Only I usually want to scream it at work.

Karly said...

I love your family. You need to start video taping these conversations.

Burgh Baby said...

You have SO met your match in The Girl. I love it!

Trinity said...

These are hilarious. Especially the HRBT part. I used to live rightthere [you can see my old place from the Willoughby Bridge] & yeah. It stinks.

Michelle said...

Oh I love it. Especially the asshat part. Perfect. And let's hope she definitely has it out of her system!

Uptown Girl said...

great stories! LMAO about the smell of the sea...

Allison Says said...

HAHA! Asshat cracked me up. All of them did. Hilarious.