Monday, January 5, 2009

Things I Have Learned

I have learned that, as my family always used to say, Little Pitchers Have Big Ears. Especially when you are swearing, almost swearing, making stupid potty jokes about the dog’s ass, or telling horribly embarrassing stories. To wit:



While watching old episodes of The Office (at 1:48 minutes in):

She slowly looks at the TV, then at me, then the TV, then me. And with a totally puzzled look on her face, “What the HELL are they doing?”



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After picking up her and a friend from pre-school:

The Girl: “Look mom! I got candy! I’m having some!”

Me: “You can have one piece. One. Piece. Only.

The Girl: “I know, I know, lay off the freaking candy!



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With family:


The Girl: “I see Rocky’s anus all the time. Anus. Anus. Blah blah blah anus blah blah anus anus ANUS !"

Me: “Haha, OK, that’s enough.”

The Girl: “ Rocky has an anus and Dad has an anus and brother has an anus, but I don’t have one and you don’t have one.”

Me: “That’s a penis!”

Family members: “oh my”



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In front of snooty people that seem to hate me:


The Girl: “Hey Mom! Remember the time you pooped in a bag?”

Me: crawls into hole and dies.

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6 comments:

I am a Tornado ~ proven fact! said...

my girls can make Mr.T blush.

Yeah ... i've inherited the truck-driver mouth.

meno said...

penis.....anus. Whatever!

This made me laugh.

albamaria30 said...

oh my hell. anus...penis... people are starting to come to my cubicle now. must stop laughing hysterically...

ciao,
rpm

Karly said...

You, uh, pooped in a bag? Why?

Your little one is quite hilarious! :)

Bethtastic said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Thanks. I needed that.

HAHAHAHAHA!!!

hockamama said...

your kid rocks! my kid once said, in a very loud whisper. 'mama, that lady's butt smells bad'. the smelly lady happened to be in front of us in line at kmart. she was not happy to have her hygiene issue pointed out by a child. we left the line and trolled the store until the lady was gone. my kid is now 21 and I like to remind her of this episode ~and many others similar~ in the hopes that someday she'll have deja vu when her kid embarrasses her.